I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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