I want to have your abortion
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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