Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
