"it" just moved
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Randomize
