Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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