He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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