Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
