As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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