I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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