End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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