It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
