at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
