I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Randomize
