Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
