Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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