Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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