I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
