I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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