we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
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