chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
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