It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
