You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
