problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
