You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
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