i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
