Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
