You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Randomize
