just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
