LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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