Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Panties = found
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
