ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
