i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize