Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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