the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I'm getting married
To pizza
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
