Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
