This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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