He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize
