Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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