I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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