My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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