Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
this hospital has no fireball
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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