I'm eating all of the evidence.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Is it penis luge time yet?
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Randomize
