she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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