Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Randomize
