bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize