We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
