god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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