i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Randomize
