Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
