grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
