She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
