the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
