So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
he fucked my hip out of place.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Randomize