i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Randomize
