apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
