Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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