He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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