would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Randomize