What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
