If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Randomize
