it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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