if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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